more news from nowhere

you know you've been spending too much time on a computer when while hand-writing a word you're not sure how to spell you just give it your best shot and wait for a red squiggly line underneath if its wrong.

last nights daily show is the exact reason i dont follow the news to the tee or listen to the media. no one knows what the fuck they are talking about. i'm sick of people jumping to any conclusion they can think of.

http://www.thedailyshow.com/full-episodes/index.jhtml?episodeId=220250


everything before the interview is market and media bashing.

i have a slew of pet ideas going these days. two dogs and one hedgehog. though maybe not all at the same time.
here is the lineup.

Butters!



Kingsley!


and Claus!


and then a guinea pig somewhere in there...one of those crazy haired ones.

i'm sick.  :(
in the past two days i've had a handful of chex, bowl of soup which i then threwup, and some cheez-its.

***NEW CHEMICAL ELEMENT***

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element
yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv),

has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198
assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which
are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called
peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it
can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes
into contact.

A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would
normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to
complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It
does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a
portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since
each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming
isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists
to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a
critical concentration.

This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When
catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium
(symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as
Governmentium, since it has half as many peons but twice as many
morons.

------
thats not my writting just to clarify

one of those days.

"kathy, Im lost, I said, though I knew she was sleeping
Im empty and aching and I dont know why
Counting the cars on the new jersey turnpike
Theyve all gone to look for america
All gone to look for america
All gone to look for america"

My brother and I are starting a comic some time in the near future.  He is writing and I'm illustrating.  I will be posting and creating a new feed for it upon its invention.  Keep an eye out bitches.

In the mean time I have created a flickr page with some pics of me and pictures of my sketches.  Hopefully I'll be working on bigger projects soon, like poster size  :D

http://www.flickr.com/photos/33051579@N08/

I'm getting heavily back into art.  I am sketching daily and working on a sculpting project, bought some oven back clay that is *very* forgiving.  If i'm happy with the outcome of the model i'm going to create a mold for it and then cast it out of resin.  I really missed art.  I realized how much better I feel with a creative outlet, which is probably why I liked guitar so much.  It offered me a medium  just not one i was used to.  

thats all for now.

Surgery went well. Been kinda wiped out for the past few days but there were no complications from the actual procedure and pain is minimal.  Bren, Zac and my folks did an awesome job of taking care of me.  Felt incredibly loved  :)

I'll be so happy when this month is over.  My health has been a disaster and I've been stressed about money and haven't been able to find work.  I owed T-Mobile money from a couple months ago so that sucked me dry for the most part.  School is horrible.  Enjoying only one class at this point and have dropped the other two, I'm at three units now.  I have never had such a sense of loss of direction in my life.  I don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going or what will make me happy.  RIght now its about making ends meet, finishing this one class I'm still in and finding a new job.  My parents don't know yet that I have dropped all but one class though I dont think they will be shocked.  I highly doubt I'll be in school this spring.  Dont know where I will be living either or what I'll be doing for work.  Given my current health situation though I need to do my best and find somewhere what will offer me decent coverage.   My surgery is in a week.  I wont be able to have sex for six weeks after that date or go surfing for four weeks.  Dont know about soccer yet cause I forgot to ask.   Will be in LA this weekend, coming up on thursday I believe and driving back down on Monday with my mom.  Interested to see what the weekend will hold.  Ev will be getting her gift a couple weeks late however, probably when I'm up for the art show. 

I'm unhappy.  Havent been happy for a while.  And at this point I dont know what to do to fix it.

I'm tired of words.  Tired of catchphrases.  Maverick.  Hope. Change. Joe 6-pack.  Experience. 
Our government can't do anything for us, can't do anything for you.  We are a mass.  Easily manipulated, distorted and toyed with. 
I'm tired of the media, liberal, conservative, biased.  I'm exhausted by this all.  It honestly doesn't really matter who we elect as president, what we are told as a nation will be done during the term of office won't happen. 
I'm tired of debates.  Shallow, hollow debates in which the contestants spend more time shooting the other person down.  The only specifics on any topic that can be offered by either party are on the fuckups of their opponent.  Don't tell me why I should not vote for the other guy, tell me why I want you to be my leader you patronizing fuck.
I'm tired of humanity.  Tired of the relentless cycle of repetition.  I do think that we as a species have reached our boundaries of a learning curve.  This is not to say we won't progress intellectually or technologically but we have ceased learning from our mistakes. 
I take too much of what I hear and see in the news and around me seriously.  Too much to heart.  I know I'm not the only one but I think others who do are activists, they try and right the wrongs and better the situation.  I don't see any of this as repairable, humanity will continue as it has and it depresses me.  And since I won't do anything for betterment, because I see all attempts as futile, I am no better than the uneducated man.  And this is why I fail. 
I'm 20 and disillusioned with my world already.  This is my first presidential election that I will be able to participate in and I probably won't be voting.  And this is because it doesn't matter, and neither candidate has convinced me it ever will. 
Fuck hope.

i mean seriously

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny_crime/2008/09/25/2008-09-25_nypd_investigates_two_officers_in_taser_.html

things elisa wants or needs:

high top black and white converse
flipflops
a brightly colored 1970's volkswagen bug
new tops/shirts
a bed
DK shirt
a job
more sex

in other news i hate sarah palin.  and the GOP.  

I always sit against a wall if there is one.

one day left! i have spent all day on calc. tomorrow morning will be for chem. chem final at 11am, and then 1pm-7pm more calc. then the final. and fin.

my hair is blue.  it was supposed to come out blue/purple but i guess we got the dye ratio wrong.  so instead its a midnight blue with some lighter spots, we two toned it.  three hours in the salon hanging out with amber and 25 bucks later. 

my semester ends in two weeks.  i've been stressed and miserable for the past month.  i really want it to be over.  called into work sick on Friday the day after my birthday to have a day of nothing.  caught up of chores and errands, got my nails done, and did just a bit of biology hw.  things that had to be done.  i had no clean dishes, no clean clothes and hadnt slept well in weeks.  it was a bday gift my myself, a less hectic day with no classes and no work, ending with freshly painted nails.

i never heard from yasmin for my birthday or just to return my call.  at first i was pissed but at this point i dont really care.  i dont think its a secret that the friendship has been on its way out for a few months now.

weekly therapy has been helping.  slowly but surely.  self realizations are always awkward to take.  i am realizing that i am incredibly emotionally sensitive.  I wear my emotions on my sleeve and if i am going to cry it cant be stopped.  so not only am i very sensitive to the moods and actions of those around me but also to my own emotions.  i cant shut down.  i considered that normal but apparently not.  this doesnt mean i break down over everything and have no spine but rather that everything means something to me.  there are no careless actions or feelings. 

i get paid Wednesday.  saving for something.  dont know what.  maybe a tattoo.  probably not a car, i wont be able to afford that at all on my hours and wages.

thats all.  chem exam tomorrow.